


Hardest to Love (The Red)

by nabicnvs



Series: Bits of Crimson and Blue [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Angst, Blood and Violence, Jaebeom is a pretty boy, Japan setting, Jealousy, M/M, Mild Gore, Voyeurism, boss!jinyoung, porn at the end, some jackbeom fluff and dirt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26053264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nabicnvs/pseuds/nabicnvs
Summary: Ever since Jinyoung's father died, the responsability of being a leader fell on his son's shoulders. Jinyoung was fine with it, he worked hard to make his name known. He had his friend, Jaebeom, close, always, so he managed one way or another. Yet people he loves start slipping away and turning their backs on Jinyoung, and when Jaebeom is on the verge of doing the same, Jinyoung feels like he will lose more than just a friend.Alternatively,Jinyoung keeps on losing lovers or love interests in a cursed place, aka the boss!jinyoung yet jackbeom-centric au no one asked for.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Jackson Wang
Series: Bits of Crimson and Blue [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907374
Comments: 22
Kudos: 49





	Hardest to Love (The Red)

**Author's Note:**

> please read the trigger warnings! again, if anything makes you uncomfortable, don't read! tw // blood, graphic violence, sex, some gore
> 
> title taken from The Weeknd's song with the same name as I felt it fits well here
> 
> also this is unbetad so there might be mistakes/innacuracies (please point them out if you notice them<3)

Jackson knew from the start it would do him no good, but he just couldn't go on trying his hardest to ignore whatever feelings were growing inside of him. When he was little, his mother used to tell him that you cannot force the eye to look away from beauty, as beauty was pleasant to the eye. Of course, other things mattered, too, the inside, especially; yet Jackson couldn't like people who were rotten on the inside, let alone allow himself to catch feelings for such people. 

With that in mind, he sighed before pushing one of the doors to the side and peeking inside to see if there was someone in. A head turned to look at him, then Jackson received a smile and a gesture to come in. So Jackson did, closing the door behind him. Then he takes a seat on the flat pillow in front of the table and takes a look at all the money from the table. He can’t help but look at the open agenda, too. 

“There’s blood on your collar.” Jackson is told, and he doesn't take it too well. It just means he had it rough with a debtor. 

“Yes, but, at least, I collected the debt. Here.” He takes the money out of his chest pocket and throws them on the table. He doesn't even know why he is so passive-aggressive today… Jaebeom’s energy is weird as well, and the bright red of his yukata is… not for Jaebeom, perhaps. Yet it matches the blood on Jackson’s collar. “I know Mark didn't collect the doubt from the Otsune family last month. I was with him first and we weren't successful, then he said he collected alone, but yesterday he told me in a mocking tone that he didn't collect shit, in fact.”

Jaebeom lifted his gaze and his hands let go of the money so he could place them on his shoulders. His expression and body language all read one thing, and that was “guilty”. Jackson really hoped this wouldn't be the case, but…

“You registered the money as collected though. So that means… either Mark lied to me, or… the money came from somewhere else. If boss finds out…”

“He’ll chop off both my hands.” Jaebeom mumbled, teeth sinking into his lower lip. “I put the money there. They were my money. I covered for what Mark couldn't collect.”

It’s pointless to ask Jaebeom why he covered up for Mark because Jackson already knows. He doesn't want to admit it, but he has been keeping an eye on Mark since Mark couldn't collect the debt and… Jackson also saw stuff. He didn't understand it all though. 

“You should have told Jinyoung… Do you think Jinyoung would have hesitated to put Mark into his place?”

“A lot of blood would have been splattered if I told Jinyoung. I know that you and everyone else thinks I receive special treatment from boss Park, but it’s not like that. I can ask him for small stuff, but I can never interfere with his business.”

That’s right, Jaebeom is right. Yet… Jackson wonders from where he had the money to cover for that debt, since it was a considerable sum. He noticed that Jaebeom is very good at saving up, but still… And then, it hit Jackson. Jaebeom liked hair accessories a lot, but authentic ones, not kitschy imitations. Jaebeom, just like Jinyoung, were Zainichi Koreans, meaning they both lived in Japan for a long time, and who were settled citizens. Just like Jackson, only Jackson was Chinese. Anyway, there were a lot of foreign citizens working for Jinyoung Park, the boss — his name was well-known in the suburbs, as he treated foreign citizens very well and welcomed them warmly. 

So, back to Jaebeom and hair accessories. It was true that he liked those things because he had some left from his mother. Even though he wasn't a woman, he still liked collecting stunning pieces, sometimes even wearing them because they made him feel beautiful, and he would also gift them to persons — mostly women, as they wore the pieces — dear to him on different occasions. Since Jinyoung and Jaebeom were extremely close, Jinyoung would sometimes gift Jaebeom those kinds of pieces, to show his gratitude towards Jaebeom sticking to him and being so loyal. And Jaebeom loved wearing them, he even let his hair grow nicely so as the hair accessories wouldn't look ridiculous on him, so… Jackson wondered just why he didn’t wear any of those pieces in the last weeks. He should've sold them to gain some more money so he could cover for the debt. Yet…  _ yet why _ ?

“You sold your hair accessories to cover up for what Mark couldn't collect?” Jackson didn't even think before blurting out that, and he regretted immediately after, since Jaebeom looked at him with a guilty expression. 

“He said they were stupid and useless anyway… I only kept my mom’s, and I sold some of the others at low prices to be able to gain some money fast.”

“I don't get it… others failed to collect debt before Mark. So why are you helping him? I mean, his job was to murder the debtor who couldn’t pay and the debt would be passed on to the family. It’s not a big deal, Jaebeom, so why…”

“They’re his friends. There’s a strong bond between him and that family, so…”

“And why did you cover up for him instead of telling Jinyoung? Because Jinyoung would’ve hurt him? Isn’t that our policy though? Those are the rules, so why-”

“Because, if he were caught, he would have told Jinyoung something personal about me. Are you happy now?”

Jackson sighed. It made sense, but still… Jaebeom was too stupid, especially when he chose to solve it all by himself instead of asking for help. He was probably embarrassed to ask for help which came from someone else other than Jinyoung, too. 

“Let me guess, you’re going to tell Jinyoung.” Jaebeom said bluntly and unimpressed. “Or you won’t tell Jinyoung, but I have to buy your silence, right?”

“It’s not like that. I don't want your money.”

“Then what do you want?”

How should Jackson put it? He didn't want Jaebeom’s body. And telling him that he wants his soul or his heart would simply sound creepy. Jackson just wanted Jaebeom next to him… He didn’t want Jaebeom to get on his knees in front of him and offer his pleasure, he just wanted… to help Jaebeom. To make Jaebeom happy. Because he liked Jaebeom for quite some time and he hated seeing Jaebeom getting into this kind of shit. Yet he couldn't tell Jaebeom out of the blue,  _ “I want you to love me” _ . It didn't work like that. Plus, Jackson was alright with not receiving love back; if he would receive some caring and affection back, occasionally, it would be enough, as he wasn't exactly a lovable person in the first place. 

“I… want you.”

“Me?” Jaebeom raised his eyebrows, then sighed in understanding. “Okay, but you cannot tell Jinyoung.” 

Jackson wouldn't tell Jinyoung anyway, because that meant Jaebeom was getting in trouble. “I won’t.” 

“If Jinyoung or someone else notices you spending too much time here or with me, tell them I’m tattooing one of your scars or something. Is that a good cover-up?”

“Yeah.”

“If you don’t have any more work today, stay. Or, maybe, get changed. Take a bath- oh,  _ wait.  _ Should I come bathe with you?”

Jackson tried to pretend he didn’t flush at that. But he won't say no because he would very much enjoy that. “Would like that.”

“You know, Jackson… you’re not exactly like the others. I mean… well, everyone is different,  _ of course _ . But most men, after being assigned to slander, beat up, torture and even kill others for money, slowly become brutes. Or… they become savages, just like Mark, people who would do  _ anything  _ in order to survive and to live life decently. I don’t think you’re like that.”

“Then how am I?”

“I think you’re a bit more human than the others. Even in comparison to Jinyoung, if you wish.”

“Jaebeom, I’m just as cold-blooded as the others. Trust me.”

Jaebeom shook his shoulders and turned back to counting the untouched pile of money from the table. He did it in silence for a few minutes, while Jackson just watched him while enjoying a cigarette. “Do you enjoy staring at me or at the money?” Jaebeom asked out of nowhere, a small smile on his lips.

“At you, obviously.” As much as it sounded like a shit-eating compliment, Jackson could swear he was telling the truth. Sure, money was everything in a capitalist society like theirs, yet Jackson felt more at peace just staring at Jaebeom. His eyes loved beauty, loved Jaebeom’s beauty, and that kind of thing couldn't be bought. Peace and happiness couldn't be bought. Sure, money was powerful, no one could simply give up money. “Can I request something?”

“What?”

“Can you wear a hair accessory? At least while we bathe?”

“Let me guess…  _ because it makes me look more like a woman _ ?” Jaebeom’s tone implied that he was tired of that excessive fetishisation of his appearance, or of prettier men in general. In his case, it was the longer hair and the colourful accessories he could place between black strands of hair. For others, it was simply just a pretty face, a lean body, long legs, things they were born with. Mockery was everywhere, Jaebeom knew, and to avoid it, he chose to stop wearing things into his hair. Just like one of his friends, Bambam, who had a lean body, long legs and thick lips, stopped wearing shiny jewellery he worked his ass to afford just because those  _ manly men  _ around them started calling him names. They would even whistle after Jaebeom and Bambam whenever they would see them together, calling them fags and whores and whatever. 

“No. I just think they’re pretty and that they look well on someone as beautiful as you. And… I really think they make you happy, right?”

“I’d rather help myself than wear one small hair clip and be called a slut. Really.”

“Whoever called you that seems to not know the meaning of the word then. Please, don’t let those uneducated monkeys hurt your feelings. I was told too that I lick Jinyoung’s shoes or that I kiss his ass just to get some extra money, but since it’s not true, I chose not to care much. I’m only asking you to wear a pin or a clip because I thought you liked those things a lot since you used to collect them.” Jackson shook his shoulders afterwards and pressed the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray placed on the table. Jaebeom was an occasional smoker, but he kept it there since a lot of men who came in would smoke while receiving their pay or while handing in the money they collected. 

“Do you know when Jinyoung will return?”

“In an hour or two, I guess.”

Jaebeom nodded. “Then go ahead and fill the tub with water. I’ll finish here fast and join you in a couple of minutes.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


As Jackson unbuttoned his shirt, he thought about Jaebeom, obviously, and about how he should behave. He was kind of nervous, because he felt like he failed to confess earlier. It was supposed to be a “I like you and I want to help you”, not what he said,  _ “I want you” _ . Yes, Jackson did want him. But by  _ want  _ he didn't exactly mean carnal pleasure. He would like a taste of some of that too, true, but maybe not right now. Actually, he would like it anytime Jaebeom would also crave that. Apart from this aspect, Jackson wanted to place his head next to Jaebeom and fall asleep next to him, to feel his warmth and his heartbeat, to take him by the hand, to wipe his tears during hard times, to watch him eat delicious food, to admire his smile and to caress his scars. He would have loved it if Jaebeom would have laid next to him in silence while Jackson meditated outside, if Jaebeom would have bought him cigarettes at the right time, if Jaebeom would have taken his hands in his and would have dragged him into the city, if he would have reminded Jackson that it’s useless seeing himself as nothing more than a murderer. Jackson would have loved all of that, too bad that it was too much to ask and Jackson wasn't the greatest with words either. 

His eyes darted at the chunky foam from the bathtub which smelled really good. At least he got this… with Jaebeom. If he was smart enough, he could make the most out of it; or he could just try to make Jaebeom feel good, for him it was already perfect if Jaebeom would let him hold him for a bit.  _ Gosh _ , since when was Jackson so fucking whipped? Also, since when was Mark such an asshole? If Jackson wasn't thinking about Jaebeom, he was definitely trying to figure out what Mark was planning for quite a while. 

Jackson bit his lip when he heard the door behind him, and after he turned slowly, he saw the thing in Jaebeom's hand first, then the ones in his hair second.  _ Fuck _ . 

“I brought a scented candle.” Jaebeom said with a small smile, and it was enough for Jackson to take his lighter out of his pocket and to light up the candle from Jaebeom's hands. He was so glad it made Jaebeom smile even wider, though he didn't know what was such a big deal about the candle. 

As Jaebeom moved to place it in a corner, Jackson decided to just strip so he could get in the bathtub faster. He got a bit embarrassed as he grabbed his underwear to pull it down and saw Jaebeom turning around and getting flustered as well. To not make Jackson even more embarrassed, Jaebeom placed his hands to untie his obi, as he was wearing a red yukata tied with a golden obi. Yet he seemed to struggle judging by his expression, so Jackson moved to help him out. However, right after Jackson got behind him, the obi came undone, and in a matter of moments, Jaebeom slid off his yukata as his head leaned back, resting on Jackson's shoulder. “Jackson?” Jaebeom asked, his clothes already on the floor. 

“Hm?”

“Do you wish I was a woman or do you like me as a man?”

“I like you a lot just like you are. Man, woman… it doesn't matter to me. I just want you.”

“As in… have sex with me?”

“No, not really. I just wish to get to know you and to become part of your life.”

“So… do you want me to be your lover?”

“I’d like that…”

“So should I open my heart to you?”

“It’s natural to not trust me, let’s not rush. Take all the time you need.” 

Jaebeom smiled and slowly put away so they could finally get fully naked and bathe. Jackson sat down in the bathtub first, and watched Jaebeom slowly lowering himself too — he sat into Jackson’s lap and traced his fingers over the cut on his neck, gently wiping the blood off. While that, Jackson had time to admire the thin silver pins from Jaebeom’s hair and the singular clip that had a blueish butterfly on it. 

“Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself while I will wash you?” Jaebeom suggested. “You don’t have to tell me about your scars if you don't want to, but I would like to hear the stories behind them sometime. Maybe you’ll also let me tattoo something beautiful over them.”

“I’d like that. You’re so patient and so careful while tattooing… it’s not even painful.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Jaebeom wasn't kidding when he said he would wash Jackson, he actually took a sponge and soap and went at it, just as gently as he tattooed. Or maybe Jackson was immune to pain and to rougher touches? That was probably not it, because he used to feel pain when he got wounded. No, it was just Jaebeom being tender, which Jackson absolutely adored. He even started telling Jaebeom about how he got the cut on his neck until Jaebeom suddenly shushed him with a fingertip pressed on his lips, his facial expression showing worry or fear. Then Jackson turned his head slightly, and didn't even think properly before diving into the water. The silhouette he saw approaching the door a moment ago made him want to hide under the pile of foam, so neither Jaebeom, nor him, would get into trouble. 

The door opened suddenly, and a familiar voice called out. “Oh, Jaebeom?”

“ _ Jinyoung.  _ Hi.”

“Sorry to bother you while you were bathing. I just wanted to check who is in here. Please, meet me later and let’s eat together.”

“I will.”

“My apologies for… I’ll just… I’ll go.” 

Right after the door was closed back, Jackson's hands grabbed the edges of the tub to be able to pull himself at the surface. Water dripped all over him, he also spat a bit, then he started panting pretty slowly. His hands moved to push all of his wet hair back and wondered why Jaebeom looked like a soaked kitten when he should have been looking like that. “Sorry for that.” 

“He even comes into the bathroom for you?”

“Since he didn't find me in my office… I guess.”

“But you're not  _ his  _ lover, right?”

Jaebeom shook his head lightly as an answer to that, even though his ears became just like a canvas on which someone splashed the red colour all over. Jinyoung never called him a lover, even though sometimes he would treat Jaebeom like one. Mostly, they were very good and close friends, but there had been a few times in which Jinyoung guided either Jaebeom’s head between his thighs or Jaebeom’s body to lay down on Jinyoung's bed. They never talked about those moments, and whenever Jaebeom would flinch or try to oppose even the slightest, Jinyoung would say that “it’s an order to stay still”. He  _ never  _ hurt Jaebeom though. He didn't kiss Jaebeom’s lips either, never, but whenever Jinyoung would seek this kind of pleasure, he would make sure it feels good for the other party, too. And,  _ no _ , Jaebeom was neither Jinyoung’s whore. Jinyoung never regarded him as such. He only once said something about being embarrassed for liking only men and considering Jaebeom  _ gorgeous and lovable _ . But they were both intoxicated by wine back then. Plus, this, what he occasionally did with Jinyoung, was meant to be their secret.

“He’s like a brother to me.” Jaebeom mumbled, feeling as he grew even more embarrassed. He literally had to remind himself that Jinyoung didn't touch him in months just to stop getting so flushed. Before he knew it, he pressed his lips on Jackson’s, mentally telling himself to  _ resist  _ Jinyoung from now on. Jackson’s hands grabbing at his hides made him flinch slightly, but then he opened his mouth and relaxed as Jackson’s tongue invaded his mouth. His arms lazily wrapped around Jackson's neck, his own tongue and mouth followed Jackson’s movements, the wet kiss allowing them to simply taste each other for a short while and to hold each other more and more with every second that passed by. 

When the both pulled away, Jaebeom looked so awed, and definitely managed to forget about Jinyoung after that. Plus, he felt so comfortable and safe and warm into Jackson's loving hold that he didn't even feel like letting go. When his head rested on Jackson's shoulder as hands were holding tightly the wet bodies which they were still not entirely used with, Jaebeom started thinking that he should let himself trust and fall in love with Jackson. His body loved being embraced by Jackson and he had this overall feeling that told him that Jackson might be the one for him. Not necessarily a  _ soulmate _ , yet he might just be…  _ Jaebeom’s man _ . That who understands and cares. That who would go as far as to take a bullet for him. Just, the one. The right one. At least that was what the tingling inside Jaebeom’s stomach told him. 

  
  
  
  
  


———

  
  
  
  
  


No one expected such a horrendous thing to happen out of the blue. Maybe Jackson grew suspicious as Jaebeom started opening up and telling him about this and that. And Jackson also kept an eye on Mark whenever he could. But this… this was absolutely terrifying. His boss, Jinyoung, didn't even flinch when he saw the bloody bodies lying on the ground. Maybe his face turned pale, but he had no time to just stay and check the bodies: they all looked dead, as bullets or knives were stuck into their skulls, brains or necks. “Bambam, check into the-”

Before Jinyoung could even order, he was gently pushed away by Jackson, who went ahead at a high speed, mostly fueled by terror and fear. He wasn't someone who would disrespect the boss in such a way, yet this time his body moved on his own. Jinyoung's eyes followed his body, his eyes losing their colour due to the sudden jealousy wave which hit him the moment he noticed Jackson hurrying inside  _ Jaebeom's office _ . As Jackson seemed to remain frozen into place, Jinyoung thought,  _ “so he must be dead too” _ , then proceeded to feel a bit better since that meant  _ neither  _ Jackson or Jinyoung could have him anymore. 

The floor was painted with blood. One of Jinyoung's subordinates was lying on the ground, suit drowned in blood, knife cuts everywhere, but most of them were obvious around the head area. The things from the were scattered everywhere, and this time there was no money. While the dead man in the suit was laying on his back, Jaebeom was laying face-down, his blue yukata splattered with blood, too. His face was stuck against the floor and hidden by his bangs. The butterfly clip was still into vision, just like the puddle of blood under his stomach and like all the blood splashed on the floor next to his head. His hands were also dirtied by crimson.

With all that, Jackson still approached, feeling his chest tighten as his steps took him closer to Jaebeom's red-painted body. He gulped as reaching down and grabbing Jaebeom to turn him around. Jackson's lips let out a soft sigh of relief after Jaebeom started moving slightly, so he proceeded to slip a hand under his head and the other under his body and to pull his injured body closer to his. “Stay with me, don’t close your eyes!” Jackson hissed as he used his hand to untie his tie, then he hurried to pull the yukata up and to even tear it a bit until he managed to uncover Jaebeom's bloody leg and the knife stuck into the flesh of his thigh. “You can’t close your eyes, tell me what the hell happened!”

“It hurts…” Jaebeom mumbled, then shut his eyes close and groaned in pain as Jackson tied the tie tightly just above the deep wound.

“I’m going to take out the knife.” 

“No, Ja-” His mouth let out a loud and horrible scream as Jackson pulled the knife out immediately. Tears were already rolling down his face, and he preferred to bite his lips and suppress his hisses and cries of pain as Jackson started ripping more of his yukata to wrap the fabric around the wound to stop it from bleeding. 

Even though for Jaebeom everything felt intense and it seemed like the time was passing extremely slow, in reality, Jackson really moved fast, driven by worry and adrenaline. Right after putting enough pressure on the wound, he started inspecting Jaebeom’s body for more serious cuts — cuts were everywhere honestly, but most of them were just cuts, not wounds. There was a deeper one just above the obi, and for it Jackson struggled to pull the obi up in order to blood from pouring. “Fuck it, I’ll take you to Choi! I hope he’s not dead too…” Jackson guided one of Jaebeom's hands over his neck and prepared to lift him up, but his body stopped as his eyes met Jaebeom's and he managed to see all the blood on Jaebeom's face, dripping from all the cuts. Jaebeom looked like someone slapped him over the face multiple times while holding a knife, and while Jackson imagined the cut into his thigh was the most painful, he had the odd desire to catch Mark and strangle him. He tried to ignore that feeling though and traced his big thumb over one of the cuts on Jaebeom's face, wiping crimson blood from his cheek. Jackson would have kissed him, he really wanted to, but lifting him up and taking him to get his wounds treated was more important right now.

As Jackson lifted him up and started walking on the hall, Jaebeom felt like he was slowly losing consciousness. He tried to stay awake, he tried to maintain eye contact with Jinyoung, whose eyes burned him as he looked at him over Jackson’s shoulder. He also tried tracing his fingertips over Jackson’s nape and caressing him lightly, yet the pain he felt right above his stomach became unbearable. His fingers caressing Jackson bothered Jinyoung so much that he came into their direction, but until he managed to catch up to Jackson, Jaebeom pressed his forehead against Jackson’s neck. 

“Mark… betrayed…” he mumbled against Jackson’s skin only those words before his eyelids became too heavy to keep them open anymore. He still heard muffled voices around him, Jackson’s and Jinyoung’s voice mixing with the heartbeat he heard loudly in his temples. His disturbed mind immediately created images of Jackson and Jinyoung yelling at him and hitting him for betraying them both in different ways, and since he got even more scared of being killed, hot tears started rolling down his cheeks and sticking to Jackson’s neck. He  _ knew  _ he was hallucinating and that he was about to black out, and at this point couldn't control himself. His hand automatically grabbed at Jackson’s coat from the back and held it as tight as he could until everything faded to black. 

  
  
  
  
  


———

  
  
  
  
  


“Look at him.” Jinyoung commanded, then pushed Jaebeom closer to the man who was tied tightly against the chair. He was a member of the Otsune family, Jackson said he was the right hand of the leader, yet in front of Jinyoung, they were all scum. “Do you see the cuts on his face?” Jinyoung insisted, though the man only hissed and hectically struggled to get his hands out of the thick leather belts keeping them in place. “Answer me! Do you see the fucking cuts on his face?”

“Fuck you!” The man hissed and spat Jaebeom right in the face. “Is that your woman, faggot? That’s what you like? Men dressed as women? And you, doll-face, I bet you like getting it in the a-” A sharp and loud scream escaped the guy’s mouth due to the metallic thing stuck at the base of one of his fingers. Jinyoung's curious eyes looked in shock at the object from Jaebeom’s hand, his wonder growing even more as he realised the thing in Jaebeom’s hand was a comb with a long and sharp metallic tail. He even sketched a small grin when Jaebeom pulled it out, then pushed it back into the wound, causing even greater pain to the man. The room also filled with screams and cries of pain faster than Jinyoung expected it to. 

“Now that you had your fun…” Jinyoung’s voice heard. He approached, placed a hand over Jaebeom’s and took out the comb just to throw it on the floor. “Let’s go have dinner, Jaebeom. Jackson, chop off  _ all  _ of his fingers if you have to make him speak up.”

“You can go.” Jaebeom pulled out of Jinyoung’s hold, making the latter raise an eyebrow. 

“Jackson?” Jinyoung let his hands slide into his pockets, then took a few steps back to be able to watch Jackson coming in front of the man with his knife in hand. Horrible screams filled the room again, along with Jackson’s hisses that would echo for a few seconds before getting lost into the air. Finger bones were cracking, the knife dug into flesh, blood was splashed everywhere and pouring from everywhere. Jackson’s clothes, hands and face were all splattered with blood. And while some would find it horror, Jinyoung found it pretty entertaining. Boring even, since this wasn't the first time he saw something like this. “Jeez, Jackson, that’s boring. Take one of his eyeballs out. Maybe he’d speak.”

“Boss, he’s barely hanging on. I think this is enough for today.”

“Okay, then. Jaebeom? Do  _ you  _ want to take one of his eyeballs out?”

Jackson flinched and shivered once when he heard, then swallowed hard as Jinyoung hugged Jaebeom from behind. “Jinyoung, he’s fucking dead-” Jackson tried, but that didn't stop his boss from pulling a hair pin out of Jaebeom’s hair and placing it in Jaebeom's hand. Then he grabbed it with his to move it closer to the man’s face. Jackson was getting sick to his stomach as the pin pinched the guy’s eyeball; his skin started crawling as Jaebeom’s hand shivered into Jinyoung's hold, and as Jaebeom was trying his best to move away his gaze because he was clearly getting grossed out as well. Jackson's shivering hand landed over his mouth, sweaty fingers barely blocking his vision from the disgusting scene unraveling in front of him. There was blood pouring out because Jinyoung kept on tracing the pin around the eyeball, stinging the lids so much that they started bleeding. 

When Jaebeom turned his head around to look at Jinyoung, their hands suddenly moved to the other eye, and Jinyoung didn't even hesitate to forcefully plunge the pin right into the other eye, making blood splash all over. The sound Jackson let out made Jaebeom sick to his stomach, because Jackson started throwing up for real, probably too grossed out by what just happened. And Jinyoung… Jinyoung knew Jackson despised torture, though he murdered some people before. Yet torture simply triggered Jackson, made his stomach twist and tumble until he felt like vomiting. Fortunately, Jaebeom hadn’t such a weak stomach like Jackson — he managed to hold it in as Jinyoung traced his bloody hand over the victim’s forehead, to wipe some of the blood on the dead man’s skin. 

“Just so you know.” Jinyoung whispered, hands letting go of Jaebeom’s just to be able to wrap around him. “This is not pleasant to me either, but I had to punish you somehow. I hope you’ll appreciate that I didn’t do that to  _ your eyes _ , Jaebeom. And this doesn't mean that I’ll forgive you for wanting to betray me, either.”

“Betray you…”

“I  _ know  _ you helped Mark with some money. Why?”

“Because he saw us… he said he will start rumors about you if I don’t help him up with some money, so I did.”

“Really?”

“I didn't mind as long as I was being called a whore or a fucktoy or whatever… but he wanted to spread the rumor about you being a homosexual and I preferred to sell some useless stuff and to help him rather than for you to lose your dignity due to some rumors.”

“And how do I know you’re not lying? When did Mark see us?”

Jaebeom's eyes fluttered closed, the image in front of him too disturbing. “The last time.” He mumbled, making Jinyoung roll his eyes. 

“And you?” Jinyoung finally let go of Jaebeom to look at Jackson. He even approached Jackson and helped him up, then made Jaebeom a sign to follow them out of the bloody basement. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about Mark blackmailing you…”

“If I would have told you, you wouldn't have had the impression that you knew everything, and you wouldn't have asked me to bathe with you, either. Or to tattoo you. You’re so annoying, just forget about it! At least for the time being. It’s embarrassing!”

Jackson smiled to himself, then pressed a light kiss on Jaebeom's forehead. He was still deep in thought, yet Jaebeom turning his head and pulling him into a kiss made him forget a bit about his thoughts. He let Jaebeom kiss him for a while until Jaebeom let go slowly, hands still on Jackson’s chest. It made Jackson think that something was wrong.

“I feel like something is on your mind too… are you alright?”

“I am just… a bit confused and scared about the future. But I’d rather not think about it now… I just want to… forget for a while, I don’t know.”

Jackson rolled on one side, sliding a hand under Jaebeom's yukata and pulling him closer. Jaebeom made it more easier too, by throwing his leg over Jackson’s hip and soon climbing on top of him, hands holding tight at Jackson’s shirt as their lips started exchanging sweet pecks. 

When Jinyoung came to check on Jaebeom, who promised him he would join him for tea but ended up not showing up, he felt his ears redden, but his whole face become green with envy. Even so, he darted his eyes at the image in front of him, at Jaebeom lying on his stomach while Jackson was behind him, fucking into Jaebeom slowly and deeply, Jaebeom already a moaning mess. Skin was slapping skin. The pillow between Jaebeom’s thighs didn’t allow Jinyoung to see Jaebeom naked — just as the yukata still hanging on him, which didn’t allow Jinyoung to see a lot of skin. Jackson turned his head at one point to kiss Jaebeom so sloppy that they both started whining due to the kiss barely being lips brushing against each other. 

Jinyoung felt the need to swallow hard when Jaebeom started whimpering loudly as Jackson was pushing into him at a fast pace. Since Jackson couldn't help groaning too, and they were both already too loud, he pushed Jaebeom’s head on the pillow and pressed his hands against the mattress only to thrust a few more times at a fast peace, already cursing loudly since he was close to his release. Something inside Jinyoung died when Jackson’s head landed close to Jaebeom’s, his body still half over Jaebeom's, yet none of them minding it, just panting while they looked at each other. 

Jinyoung had no idea why he was  _ still looking  _ and gulping even as Jaebeom took off his yukata and tossed it on the floor. Jackson was completely naked, laying on the bed on his back and waiting for Jaebeom to get on top of him this time. Jinyoung watched so closely as Jaebeom slowly straddled Jackson’s hips, already so eager to offer more pleasure to Jackson. To both of them, actually. Even though Jinyoung's throat went dry, he still licked his lips as he watched Jackson’s cock slide into Jaebeom and make him roll his eyes in pleasure. Since Jaebeom was too tired to move by himself, Jackson's hands moved him, making him whimper continuously or blurt out that he feels  _ “so good”  _ and  _ “so full” _ , that it is  _ “so much” _ , that he  _ “wants more” _ . Jinyoung tried picturing himself in Jackson’s place, he fantasized about his own cock making Jaebeom’s skin sweaty, making his mouth water, making his insides clench.  _ Jinyoung wanted to feel him so bad. He wanted Jaebeom so much, yet he never knew how to win him over. He never knew how to make him feel good, cared for or even wanted, needed.  _

Jaebeom slowly laid on Jackson's chest, Jackson’s cock still deep into him and Jackson’s hands still keeping Jaebeom’s hips into place. Jaebeom’s hands rested on Jackson’s chest as his mouth started kissing Jackson’s desperately, his ass still grinding against Jackson’s cock and making him moan against Jackson’s mouth. All of this pushed Jinyoung to the edge; made the boss so shamefully hide behind the wall and shove his hand into his pants, already feeling precum dripping from his own cock. Gosh, he was  _ so close _ and it was  _ only due  _ watching Jaebeom have sex with another man, one that made him feel good. Yes, Jinyoung was still extremely jealous, yet he continued to jerk off as laying against the wall and listening to Jaebeom’s moans. He imagined he was the one pounding Jaebeom so good, pushing him to the edge. 

_ So shameful… and so dumb, Jinyoung was doing such a thing.  _

After finally coming into his hand, Jinyoung remained still in place, too tired to move. Too tired to even stand, but he had to. He listened to Jaebeom and Jackson’s pants, and to…  _ Jaebeom's giggle _ .  _ Shit, it made Jinyoung bit on his lip hard _ . 

“Jackson?”

“What, love?”

“You know… sometimes I wish I could take you by the hand and run away from this place. It wouldn't matter if I had to change my name and get a job that pays me dust. Sometimes I wish I could just escape this place. I feel like it’s cursed.” 

“After what happened with Mark and the Otsune clan… I think I want to run away too.”

Jinyoung let his head down. His heart shattered into more pieces as he heard that.  _ Run away. Run away, just like the others.  _ Just like Yugyeom, Jinyoung’s first love interest who ran away without a word. Just like  _ Mark, whom Jinyoung used to kiss on lonely nights, but who eventually pushed Jinyoung away.  _ Like all the others who didn't want to see Jinyoung ever again. 

He wondered… was he so horrible that everyone wanted to leave him? Was he so unlikable? So unlovable? Probably he wasn’t exactly unlovable, yet he was sure he was the hardest man to love from this cursed place. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually really sorry it ended up like this, initially it was supposed to be a triple j fic, but idk that's how it turned out. MAYBE I will write a prequel about Yugyeom or Mark (?) or maybe a sequel with triple j or something. I don't plan on doing that rn anyway!!
> 
> Thank you so much if you read all of this, all kind of feedback is very much appreciated!


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